Good day, T.G.I.F.'ers!Tone here...
Well, GUESS WHAT! As if you needed another reason to wake-up and jerk-off because you've realized that it's another Friday, and, HEY, you're just a mere 8 to 10 hours away from drinking (and drugging, depending upon your rank amongst the New York social-elite) the past weeks fuckery away, we at TTWTI bring you "The Friendly Friday GUEST BLAH'Gger".
You would think that the intention of this innovating new addition to the site would be to diversify the content of "The Trouble With That Is...", adding a new flavor to the blog by gaining different perspectives via my assorted grab-bag of colorful friends...well, it's not.
Bottom line is, I'm half-black, and a half a lazy fuck...not that those two are connected in any way. Just being random. I'm also HALF native-american so I LISTEN to animals, but I can't HEAR them. Anyway, this is just one of my ingenious and ingenuine ways of keeping my blog active during the times when I'm trying to regain some sort of semblance of the life that I once used to imagine while on the toilet, or having sex...with you, maybe.
To make things fair though, I will give myself a homework assignment (arghhh): I'll be doing a short synopsis on how I know the guest blogger, and a "to my knowledge, at least" bio about them by the following Friday of their blog post.
If you would like to participate let me know. I'd love you to!!! Shoot me an email at tonewaweru@gmail.com and I, along with a panel of 13 pretentious judges, will determine whether or not you meet the criteria to participate in such a ground-breaking and progressive initiative. Should you be so privileged, you will have two options of topic:
1) Your choice to BLAH about anything and everything you want
or
2) I can give you a topic, and you just let your fingers run with it
Then we'd just (together) choose a Friday that you're uncensored blog would go up, and voila...you are now narcissistic. Simple as that.
Anyway, without further delay, I'd like to introduce to you our very first Friendly Friday Guest Blah'gger - this is Fernando Luciano's take on....well, just read.
- Fitzgerald Anthony Tony Tone Christopher(apperently) Broadway Waweru, Jr.
"Between a FLAC and a Hard Place"
by Freddy Flaco
Ok ok ok...so here I am, finding myself on the web chiming in about life, liberty, and the pursuit of some fire purple at half price. In the midst of cold weather turning warm, trekking through unshoveled snow by inconsiderate fucks who say" it'll melt anyway", I find myself debating more than a few things, but to keep your attention span I'll spare you but a few.
NOW...everyone is impressed that we have a half black President, Barack Obama. Now while I commend him on a genius campaign and the support he rallied, we are far from getting halfway to where we need to go. What will impress me one day is a native American President. Think about it... Don't you think the muthafucka who had the country first would know what to do with it? These dudes beta tested the US, and all they get is tax avoidance and extra financial aid to attend colleges. They invited C-dub(Christopher Columbus) over for some hashish and pumpkin, and he thanked them by running through they hoes(without paying, I might add), fucking up their shape-ups, and claiming their crib as theirs. I'm sorry, but if anyone ever came over and even left my fridge open, they'll wish they were in the Philippines getting in the ring with Ali...one can only wish...Another issue picking my half-functioning brain is OJ- not the drink, the person. Follow me- here we have a former college Heisman trophy winner, standout NFL star, super actor and token extraordinaire. He killed his ex wife, her jump-off, escapes in a truck, goes to trial, WINS, goes plays golf and gets mad buns, GETS LOCKED FOR SOME OTHER SHIT, and thinks the world is out to get him...hi, Mr. OJ, I got news for you. If I were to merk 2 people for no reason other than they were getting a good scrape on(should be a God given right, don'tcha think), and not do a bid for it, guess where I will be??? Answer: FAR AWAY, way farther than Las Vegas. I don't care whatever happens to him, just as long as the remaining single married white women who dated him give me a shot when our worlds meet.
Lastly, before I dig in to this bowl of Cocoa Puffs, my feet tap when I hear that there is someone for everyone...ummm, no. If you sit home looking like a brick hit you in the face, smelling like hamhocks and similak, teeth more damaged than Danity Kane without a first-aid-kit-handy, eating a pizza with pork grind as a topping, don't tell me "someones gonna love me for who I am"... Like expired milk, I'm just not buying it..
BRING THE BOOCH PRICE DOWN!
P.S. Be careful of your birth control ladies, you may not get pregnant, but you'll look and act like you were.
While I don't disagree with EVERYTHING in this little rant and rave that is filled with cute little pop culture cliches. I mean who isn't coo coo for Cocoa puffs. However, I do have a problem with your Post Script. Don't warn us (women) on what the side effects of our birth control... we are very well aware of what it does. Yes our daily pills we pop may make us bloated and even sometimes bitcthy, but would you men rather to deal with the latter of the consequences? An unplanned, very expensive, screaming and crying bundle of joy?! Sounds fun? So if you don't want to deal with the our emotional tyrades... Then I suggest you grow up and handle your end of the deal. Quit whining like a little b@*&ch if we ask you to wrap it up men. Until you can learn to handle that responsibilty then I suggest you just be extra sensitive to us ladies regardless of how 'pregnant' we look or act. In the end everyone is happy!!
ReplyDeleteI just said to be careful, not to discontinue the use.
ReplyDelete